The Sunroom

Fourteen years ago, I had a horrible nightmare – I stepped through the looking glass, which has always been a dream of mine. The problem was, it wasn’t the pleasant and exciting adventure I had hoped it would be. Instead I found myself staring back into the mirror and realizing that if I did anything wrong I may never find my daughter.

Full terror set in – not only was I being forced to live through the dreadful existence of my teenage years and struggle through heartbreak and general idiocacy, but I had complete knowledge of my current self. I had recently made some monumental life changes and I wasn’t sure I could remember all of the right twists and turns to find my way back to the exact moment in time I had left.

It was real. I have rarely felt such a visceral panic. I’m certain I begged and pleaded and offered all sorts of sacrifices to The Universe to not take away the one thing I wanted, and had, in the whole world.

That chilling experience taught me to never wish to go back – even if I’m not sure where to put my foot next I can never go back. As scary as that experience was, it was also the catalyst for me seeking professional mental health help for the first time in my life. And it was absolutely a life changer, because it helped lead me to my wife.