The Sunroom

Today’s reflection seems to have me landing on my head – so many of my spreads lately have been reversals, which can feel so odd, as I’ve only done reversals for the past year. I was hoping for something a bit more fluffy for my first foray into reflecting in this space, but The Universe is not typicallly one to pull punches.

I find little comfort in the Six of Swords Rx; in fact, I find it down right frustrating – I want to be ready to move on to the next stage. I am taking minute steps, but stopping for a moment to think about what emotional baggage I am still carrying forward and knowing that I don’t actually want to unpack those bags is a titch discouraging.

The Lovers Rx and the lack of harmony is absolutely due to my inability (okay, unwillingness) to deal with the unresolved issues hinted at in the previous card. The trauma and coping mechanisms in place can only lead to a misalignment within myself and, therefore, how I respond to others.

Seeing The Magician Rx cuts me to my core – I want to walk through life with my power ready at hand; I can see, when looking through this lens, however, that my power truly lies in my willingness to live authentically and truthfully. If I continue to try to move forward without resovling my wounds it can only weaken me and jeopordize everything I mean to accomplish.

And, in case, I was unable to sort all the above, The Universe wanted to make sure to hit me over the head with the Five of Wands Rx – directly highlighting my conflict avoidance tactics (such as trying to move to the next step without properly unpacking the issues). Why am I avoiding the unpacking? I’d like to pretend I don’t know, but it is absolutely because I’d have to process all the emotions – which is my least favourite thing to do.

I’m certain the Four of Pentacles has appeared, not to caution me about frugality of wealth (although that doesn’t hurt), but to instead remind me that conserving my emotions is, in fact, the same issue Scrooge had. Stinginess in my love is where the real trouble is, because offering love and trust means getting hurt. And that hurt can only compound the wounds already in play.

I am often as cold and collected as the King of Swords, or at least that is how I can come across – especially to those who I want to love the most, because if I show weakness, well, it leaves my poor bleeding heart out to be abandoned and tossed around.

Ahhhh, my old foe, Vulnerability….